COLUMN: Crazy Dave Coulthard

Och aye the noo muthafuckers! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha wit’ tha mad flava of Red Bull. Smell like tha shit them use to clean out an abattoir. So Crazy D, he down in tha Montay Carlay fo’ tha’ G ta tha P. Some cats, they say D Man, tha’s tha most borin’ race in tha calendar. And the D-ster, he wit’ ya homey. Me get so bored at tha end of tha race me jus’ park up an’ split wit’ out even driviin’ back to tha pit. Cuz park ferme is fo’ losers. Yea. Meantime, Nando and the Ham, they in trouble fo’ tha’ team orders. Tha’s no problem for Crazy D cuz he don’t take no orders from anyone. Unless of course you’d like to order some of my Pole Position after shave and moisture balm, in which case I can provide you with the web address on request.