There was a small amount of being confused this week as Ford announced its forthcoming small 4×4 will be called Kuga, thereby making it sound like their slightly rubbish coupe from the ‘90s. But spelt all wrong.
Whilst industry observers have found this decision a bit sodding weird, Blue Oval insiders say it actually marks the start of a brand new naming policy for the company. ‘If you look at the internet these days you realise that no one can use a fucking apostrophe properly, never mind spell correctly,’ said one insider who was inside. ‘Basically, being a big thick clot is somehow fashionable. That’s quite handy for sales of orange Focus STs but useless if we want anyone to get a fancy new car name right. So, by spelling everything like a frigging knob we’re sort of heading things off at the pass’.
Ford sources say the new policy, to be rolled out gradually across the entire range, has a rather strange inspiration. ‘Our misspelling ideas will be taken exclusively off disappointingly mediocre cars from our past’, said one source. ‘So after the Kuga you can expect to see the S-kort, the Skorrpeeoh and the Phewshun… Oh no wait, that’s actually a disappointingly mediocre car from the present’.
