Sniff Petrol receives many e-mails from people wanting a plug for their entry into one of those cross-Europe-in-a-knackered-old-car rallies and normally we say no because there appear to be far too many of these things going on and frankly who cares. However, when a bloke called Richard Sargeant took the trouble to repeatedly pester Sniff Petrol about his forthcoming participation in something called the Scumball we decided to make an exception because a) he made a nice Sniff sticker and put it on his shagged out BMW and b) he’s doing it to raise money for the Friends of Chernobyl Children which seems like one of these very worthy causes that doesn’t get enough publicity. Plus, Richard actually takes in kids from the Chernobyl area who have been affected by the aftermath of the nuclear disaster which makes him a thoroughly decent human being and not just some git who’s pointlessly planning to drive to Murmansk in a £50 Sao Penza painted to look like the Starsky & Hutch car.
You should therefore go to teamchernobylracing.com and give him some money. 100 percent of the cash goes to the charity apparently which means if you don’t make a donation your heart is black and tomorrow you will sit on a dog turd. So there.
There was a small amount of being confused this week as Ford announced its forthcoming small 4×4 will be called Kuga, thereby making it sound like their slightly rubbish coupe from the ‘90s. But spelt all wrong.
Crowds gathered along the M42 yesterday as Ford detonated a series of explosives intended to break apart the stricken vessel Jaguar-Land Rover which has been stuck on a bank of debt since 1990. After weeks of planning, Ford employees triggered controlled charges on the British car makers’ badly damaged hull with the aim of widening already visible cracks in the corporate structure and making it possible to pull the two halves of the company apart. Salvage experts say it should be possible to keep the stronger front (or ‘Land Rover’) half of the company afloat and, with some repairs, it could find a welcome port elsewhere. However, the badly creaking rear (or ‘Jaguar’) section is thought to be badly holed and may simply be allowed to sink. Sources say it was vital to break apart the two sections of the stricken company before the ‘Land Rover’ section was dragged under by the ‘Jaguar’ half which is already flooded with water, red ink and not car buyers. In the next few days the tug banks Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley and HSBC will attempt to pull apart the two sections of the floundering vessel and plug any remaining money leaks. However, whilst many onlookers now anxiously wait to see if Jaguar will slide beneath the waves, some on board maintain that the badly listing ship can be saved. ‘There is nothing to report here,’ said one spokesman, speaking from the poop deck or somewhere. ‘Jaguar’s future is far from blug-glug-lug-lug-pl-pl-pl-pl…’
