Sniff Petrol

Uh-oh, it’s Michael Schumacher again, a man whose motto seems to be “I’ll do it! Now what is it?”

This time he’s promoting an industry forever linked to the heady world of Formula 1. Yes, it’s Swiss agriculture.

With thanks to Nic Pini.

We may now be approaching a point where every single object in Spain bears a likeness of Fernando Alonso. Good news for his bank balance, bad news for his integrity and possibly quite tricky for the assiduous church goer who liked the Virgin Mary the way it was, without sideburns.

This week, the Fernando Alonso credit card. Oh dear. Sniff Petrol doesn’t speak Spanish but we’re guessing the slogan is something like, ‘Because you need the money, even if he doesn’t’.

Thanks to Alberto Martínez Uribe for this one.
If you want horrible proof that this, like all these F1 driver promo embarrassments, is not just some Photoshop-based jape, have a look here.

According to BBC News online, he’s now out in Dubai working in an ice bar. Ironically not a job you could give to Kimi ‘The Ice Man’ Raikkonen. Not unless you wanted to come back to find all your stock had been guzzled.

Thanks to Rob A for this one.

This is what Jon Stewart would call ‘a moment of zen‘

STOP PRESS: The actual footage is here. You’ll have to spool forward to about the 2:30 mark. He’s quite the TV presenter isn’t he?

*ring ring*
JPM: Hello?
MANAGER: Hi!
JPM: If this is Dominos I don’t want excuses about not enough cheese to fulfil an order of that size. And you got 10 minutes left to deliver or it’s free.
MANAGER: J-P, it’s me, your manager. Listen, have I got something for you…
JPM: Free garlic bread?
MANAGER: No, listen baby, I got you one hell of a sponsorship deal. It’s for coffee.
JPM: Toffee? Great!
MANAGER: No, coffee baby, coffee. They wanna put your face on packs of the damn stuff down in Ecuador.
JPM: I don’t understand.
MANAGER: Jeez… you know coffee J-P. It’s the stuff that comes with your breakfast.
JPM: Extra bacon?
MANAGER: Listen, just be at the photo studio tomorrow. And try to look smugly camp…

Thanks to Derek Riethmeier (and his wife who actually secured this gem on a trip to Ecuador). Do keep the F1 driver promo horror stuff coming. We’ve actually got loads of it now so expect plenty more shameful awfulness very soon.

This is Citroen’s new concept car, the C-Cactus. 

C-Enneth Williams more like.