There was exciting news for Ferrari fans this week as the Italian branded merchandise manufacturer announced a brand new lightweight version of its latest baseball cap.
The new headgear, called the Berretto Scuderia, is claimed to be a remarkable 2.1 grams lighter than the normal cap upon which it is based. This useful weight saving makes a major contribution to the Berretto Scuderia’s enhanced performance including a reported 1.4 second decrease in the time it takes other people to realise that anyone who wears one is clearly a total bellend.
Engineers at Ferrari’s state-of-the-art Fabrics & Appliqué Logos development centre in Maranello say that they have also made significant advances in systems integration, allowing the new cap to match-up seamlessly with a Prancing Horse branded polo shirt, drastically shortening the gap between the wearer entering a room and the first time someone says ‘Jesus, look at that total prick in several items of Ferrari clothing’.
No one outside of Ferrari has worn the Berretto Scuderia as yet but Sniff Petrol is looking forward to being invited to some sort of laughably self-important event at which we will be allowed to try on the cap for about 30 seconds before being treated to a display of ludicrously precious pomposity as if we were actually being invited to gaze momentarily at the Baby Jesus.
Porsche: This is the stock exchange’s answerphone. Right Volkswagen, well this is unconventional… 
The Brazilian Grand Prix was one of the most exciting climaxes to an F1 season ever seen and in the end it came down to a battle between just two men. Those men were Anthony Hamilton and Luiz Antonio Massa, and after 71 laps only one of them could be victorious in what has been an epic season-long fight for more TV time.
Och aye tha noo muthafukas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha fo’ one las’ time wit’ tha wicked flava of Red Bull. Actually, come to think of it, tha shit taste fuckin’ disgusting. So this be it, Crazy D he run his last race in tha Formula they be callin’ One. An’ you know what? Tha D, he leave tha thang tha way he wanna be remembered. Crashing out on tha first lap and then makin’ a low an’ slow walk back to tha’ pit. Yea. That be Crazy D style, fo’ sho’. It all been off tha hook man, but now it be time to do wha’ a lotta people said he should be doin’ when he at McLaren and getting’ the fuck outta here. Peace out homies, peace out. 
As many Sniff Petrol correspondents, mostly American ones, have noted, this website does not carry advertising. They agree that this is A Good Thing. But hang on a sec. What if you enjoy Sniff Petrol but feel it would be enhanced if at some point in monthly proceedings the weak jokes and poorly Photoshopped pictures were interrupted by shameless attempts to hawk sub-standard goods? Well worry no more because this bit you’re reading now is here to help with some frankly embarrassing attempts to thrust stuff upon you. 
A grey and perfectly pregnant cloud reflects in the sheeny paintwork like an ethereal marshmallow smeared on a mirror, bulging with the silent threat of rain. Yet I fear not the imminent aqueous attack from above for I am about to seek shelter in a small but perfectly formed raincoat. And the good news is, it’s a raincoat packed with 1.2 litres of pure motive power. 
