Sniff Petrol

Sniff Petrol lurches into the early 21st century!

2007-05-28T16:35:00.000+01:00

Hello there, and welcome to the prototype for Sniff Petrol MkII. You see, someone told me that doing blogs is all very fashionable and, whilst Sniff Petrol isn’t one to jump on bandwagons – even ones from 2004 – but the truth is that the normal SP-making computer seems to have broken and that’s as good an excuse as any for making a change to the way this site is made.

As an added bonus, without the usual day of fiddling about with a rubbish layout programme and swearing quite a lot, there’s every chance that Sniff Petrol will be updated more frequently. As long as you remember that the phrase ‘every chance’ is essentially meaningless and probably means ‘not a hope and you’ll just get some new shit every six weeks or so, as ever’.

STOP INTERNET PRESS: Thanks to everyone who's been in touch so far; from your e-mails, it sounds like the whole blog thing is generally a good idea. And don't worry, the mock ads and the Schumacher brothers thing will continue. In fact, they might be back brighter, faster, stronger, longer and with 30 percent more cheesey topping because long time Sniff Petrol fan, web company boss and all round top bloke Dave Coveney has been in touch offering to sort the entire blog properly by using software that wasn't engineered by special needs lemurs. It might take slightly longer but we think it'll be worth it.

That is all. For now.

Sniff

COLUMN: Crazy Dave Coulthard

2007-05-28T12:31:00.000+01:00

Och aye the noo muthafuckers! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha wit’ tha mad flava of Red Bull. Smell like tha shit them use to clean out an abattoir. So Crazy D, he down in tha Montay Carlay fo’ tha’ G ta tha P. Some cats, they say D Man, tha’s tha most borin’ race in tha calendar. And the D-ster, he wit’ ya homey. Me get so bored at tha end of tha race me jus’ park up an’ split wit’ out even driviin’ back to tha pit. Cuz park ferme is fo’ losers. Yea. Meantime, Nando and the Ham, they in trouble fo’ tha’ team orders. Tha’s no problem for Crazy D cuz he don’t take no orders from anyone. Unless of course you’d like to order some of my Pole Position after shave and moisture balm, in which case I can provide you with the web address on request.

NEWS: FIA investigates Monaco tediousnessness

2007-05-28T16:26:00.000+01:00

There was controversy in Formula 1 this week with news that the FIA is launching an investigation into Sunday’s Monaco Grand Prix following allegations that it was ‘more boring than being trapped in a lift with Nigel Mansell’. Sources in a café close to the FIA say the move has been prompted by news that one F1 fan who watched the entire race on television ‘actually died’ from boredom.

‘Monaco has never been the most interesting race in the calendar,’ noted Maurice Ital of Every Other Sunday magazine, ‘But this year’s race really was so tedious many people in the paddock were secretly hoping James Allen would come down to the pit lane, just so we could feel pain again’.