Sniff Petrol

Och aye tha noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dave in full effect wit’ tha wack smell o’ Red Bull. And Diet Red Bull, if yo’ got tha weight issues like Crazy D back in tha day. So, las’ weekend we slide on Turkey style an’ all tha bruthas, they be chattin’ about Ronnie D’s homies at tha M-ta-tha-C cuz they been dissin’ each otha an’ shit. But Crazy D, he don’ care ‘bout that cuz he gotta more serious problem wit’ ma man Nando. See, that cat, he show up ‘Standbul side wit’ tha muthafuckin’ beard. What that shit ‘bout? I warn that brutha befo’, yo’ can’t have no beard unless yo’ roll like Crazy D. Yea, mid-fuckin’-field. Of course, by the time of the actual race Fernando had taken the time to have a shave, possibly using my excellent range of Pole Position male grooming products.

Och aye tha noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha wit’ tha wickidiwack flava of Red Bull. Taste like tha shit them use to clean tha beer pipe in a pub. So we is on tha summer break fo’ tha F1 and Crazy D, he get them talkin’ wit’ ma bulimiay problem, back in tha day. But I gotta tells yo, there be one part o’ Crazy D tha’s never been painfully thin. Yea, tha ladies know wha’ I be chattin’ about. Fo’ sho’. But it ain’t all about tha D cuz ma homies Nando and Da Ham been dissing each otha. Word on tha street is that Nando, he don’t wanna go join Da Ham an’ Ronnie D on holidayay. Tha’s bad shit man. Of course, if Alonso was simply looking for reasonably priced accommodation he could have checked into my hotel on Sherwood Business Park in Nottingham.

Och aye tha noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha wit’ tha phat flava of Red Bull. Taste like fizzy power steering fluid. So we’s slide over Deutch side fo’ tha’ Euro P GP an’ tha weatha, it be bad. An’ I don’ mean in a good way. Fo’ sho’. Come tha’ light show, we is all outta control, ma man Jenny B, he got bad shit goin’ on and Da Ham, that homeboy lucky not ta get whacked. But Crazy D, he got it all under control, know wha’ sayin’? Cuz, like, I is good in wet conditions, and I ain’ talkin’ about wit’ tha honeys. Yea. Ma homie Webman take it ta tha podiay and tha D bring it home in tha five slot. Tha’s what yo call a comfortable result. Much like the comfortable results that can be achieved by shaving with my Pole Position range of grooming products.

Och aye that noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha wit’ tha mad bad Bull dat’s Red. Smell like tha inside of a doctor’s bag. So tha D back in ma hood fo’ tha GP GB. Yea. An’ ev’ry homie and ho on tha block, they be watching ma man Da Ham cuz they say he gonna stick it in tha one slot fo’ tha race. But that shit don’t go down, and they be sayin’ tha’ Da Ham, he be disappointin’. Fo’ sho’. Crazy D, he don’t know what them be fussin’ about. I be doin’ tha disappointin’ shit fo’ years. Damn straight. However, there’s no need to feel disappointment in your daily shaving regime with my superb range of Pole Position grooming products.

Och aye that noo muthafuckas! Crazy Dave comin’ atcha wit’ the mad phat flava of Red Bull. Smell like da shit dey use to hose down a crime scene. Yea. So Crazy Dave, he slide on over French side and he tell da press he as good as Da Ham. Those cats, they don’t like that shit, but Crazy D he got it goin’ on. And he prove it fo’ sho’ cuz come race time he deliver maximum smackdown, no diggety. Da Ham, he want number 1, he get number 3. But Crazy D, he get both wit’ a big fat 13th place. Tha’s jus’ the way I slide. However, if you simply want your razor to slide smoothly over your face then try my Pole Position shaving foam.